Two types of marination

OH. MY. GOD. The last time I updated the blog, Beauty & The Beast was playing in Theatres! I last updated in 1992!

…oh, uh… no, I last updated in January, BUT IT WAS STILL WHILE SAID MOVIE WAS IN THEATRES!

On an unrelated note, I am growing increasingly annoyed with Firefox assuming I use American English. BAD FIREFOX, I SPELLED THEATRE RIGHT!

ANYWAYS

Things happened, I cut off part of my finger (it is in my professional opinion that you should not do that) and I’ve been working on the Rideau, all the live-long day. I’ve been working on the Rideau, just to pass the *is shot dead*

Ow.

Other things happened too, but nothing I really want to discuss. Ever. Those other things are OVER. DEALT WITH. DONE! LEMME ALONE!

*cries a bit*
ANYWAYS!
A long time ago, I cam up with a marinade/BBQ sauce that is pretty much universal for all meat (or, at least, for chicken, pork, and beef. It would probably work on venison and moose too). It is simple to make, fairly cheap, and good enough to sell at Farmer’s Markets.

I just need a name and a pile of Mason Jars and I’ll be set.

Except I feel that wouldn’t be fair. I figure I should share the recipe to all two of you who read this blog.

But I also like money, so I’m not going to post my ratios, nor any specifics. Just the ingredients, and let you, the reader, experiment.

And so: Aust’s 5-Sauce (temporary name, coming from the number of ingredients)

• Soy Sauce
• Brown Sugar
• Lemon or Lime juice
• Ketchup
• Hot sauce

Combine all ingredients, and use as marinade or BBQ sauce.

This one is so very open to use and experiment with. You might say it’s Open Sauce

Now, before I’m lynched for that pun, I just came up with a sauce/marinade/seasoning/whatever for pork just an hour ago. The pork was already cut up into portions, ready to be turned into a cottage roll, so I plan to either simmer it into pulled pork, or slowly cook it and serve over pasta. Either way, will probably be delicious.

Tea-Soaked Pork

• About 2 lbs of pork (enough to serve 4 or 5 people), cut up
• 2 cups of Black tea (I used Lapsang Souchong)
• 2 OXO Curry cubes (found in your local UK shoppe)
• about 5 or 6 splashes of Worcestershire sauce
• 1 splash of fish sauce (any brand works)
• 4 splashes of soy sauce

In a large freezer bag, combine everything, let sit overnight in fridge. Also, if you’re an idiot, and accidentally put the tea leaves in, like I did, put about a tablespoon of sugar in with it to counteract the bitterness.

 

Now, hopefully I’ll update more often. Right now though, I need to get back to packing up clothes and stuff before I move back to Peterborough.

Will update again in a few months,
Aust Kyzor

 

You see Your Honour; it’s like this….

Your Honour, I stand before you to explain my reasons for this horrible crime.

You see, Beauty & The Beast is, after The Shawshank Redemption, my absolute most favourite movie, and certainly my most favourite Disney movie, so, when I found out that the movie was being re-released in theatres (remastered and in glorious 3D no less!) I knew I just HAD to go see it – and paying full price too! I went on a Saturday instead of Tuesday, this was serious business.

Anyways, some time before going, I had a… disagreement with somebody I knew over whether or not Beauty & The Beast was a good movie. My debating opponent was of the opinion that it was a bad movie because it taught a poor lesson, and that Belle was a horrible role model who encouraged abused women to remain in abusive relationships “because they feel they can change their man”. Now, it goes without saying that I am a very outspoken feminist, I could NEVER do some of the things you hear about from abusive relationships – I couldn’t even consider THINKING about it – and I honestly believe men hold too much power in the world. So, it goes without saying that I was incredibly insulted when I heard that argument. I, quite frankly, did not want to reside on Terra at that particular moment. However, I decided to keep my mouth shut, and ignored it briefly, intending to deal with it after seeing the movie, and remembering every detail about it.

So, I went to the theatre, paid my $15 to see the movie,  and I intended not only to watch one of my favourite movies (for the first time in theatres – I was 1 when it first came out), but to flesh out an argument for the movie, analyzing both titular characters for their pros and cons, to write about on my blog for all to see.

Because, what better way to celebrate SOPA being tabled than to exercise Fair Use of a Disney movie? But I digress Your Honour.

—–

Anyways, the movie started out with the exposition on The Prince (The Beast, not the artist) with some updated visuals, and a VERY nice remastering of the castle exterior. Anyways, we learn that The Beast Formerly Known As Prince is a jerk.

Analysis of Beast: A jerk, no heart of gold – no heart at all. BAD PERSON

Now, we cut to the Song About Belle – which not only introduces us to Belle, Gaston, and Lefou, but to the village’s opinion on Belle (that she’s a weirdo) – So, already we have a questionable movie from a feminist perspective, but, since I have the gift of critical thinking, and I can tell that this movie is obviously from a time when almost nobody could read anyways – seeing Belle as odd because she CAN read is at least understandable because it’s historically accurate. Does that mean I approve? Hell no, but it’s a required plot narrative so we can properly get to know Belle.

Analysis of Belle: Nice girl, loves books, wants better than what she has. GOOD ROLE MODEL

Skipping along the movie, we see Belle very harshly reject Gaston’s advances (which I, and most fellow feminists I know, believe is a good thing). Cutting to when she meets DA BEAST she (sorta) willingly gives up her freedom (and her dreams of a better life) to save her father.

Oops. Now we’ve got some issues here. I say sorta willingly because she really didn’t have a choice. She could have left her father to die in the castle, but that wasn’t really an option, because what would she do? She’s a woman in 18th (19th?) Century France, she can’t really live out on her own, she has no friends in the village, so she COULD leave Maurice, but that would leave her with a lonely life, and no choice but to marry Gaston (which we’ve previously confirmed is a bad thing). Essentially, from the moment she entered the castle, her life was over.

Analysis of Belle: Still a strong female character, but now placed in a very bad situation. No change in her character other than despair, and most girls wouldn’t want to be in this kind of situation. Goodish role model.

Now, The Beast wants to woo Belle, and break the spell, and we already see him sorta trying to redeem himself, BUT it’s for a pretty selfish reason at the moment. Right now it’s not about love, it’s about becoming human.

Beast: Still a bad person – but he’s at least willing to make himself sorta better.

Cut to the scene in The West Wing when Belle sees the rose for the first time. Beast is pissed. Scares the crap out of Belle, she runs away.

Belle: In a bad situation, gets the hell outta Dodge. GOOD IDEA

Beast, however, almost immediately realizes he made a HUGE MISTAKE that he regrets immediately, so he runs after her to stop her (not so good – he didn’t know about the wolves)

Beast: Still a jackass, but he’s willing to now try to fix it… and then he runs after her to drag her back. JACKASS

Anyways, wolves, Belle holds her own, almost dies, Beast saves her (brownie points for that, until you realize it’s domination behaviour, and he loses said brownie points). Now, at this point, Belle is in a good(ish) situation. The Beast is now laying in the snow dying. She has a means of escape, her father is safe and back in the village, she could run away, and go back to her old life just long enough for Maurice to recover, and they can go to his promised better life from the beginning of the movie. This is what she should have done – forget the Beast, go back to what she had before, and honestly, people probably wouldn’t judge her.

However, instead of doing that, she saves Beast’s life. This time she DID have a choice, but she decided to continue without her freedom. This is one of the biggest problems my feminist brain has with the movie: she willing went back with somebody she knows is abusive, and whom she wanted to get away from.

Belle: Not so much a good role model now

Beast, however, is earning points, because he backed down from Belle’s scolding, and was even polite.

We also see that Belle is still a very strong personality, who is able to put Beast in his place.

Belle: Good role model again
Beast: Getting better

Now comes the montage where we see the feelings Belle and Beast have for each other develop. We see the Beast becoming more likeable, and we see that he and Belle actually share a lot of common interests (I’ll explain that point later).

Back in the village, Gaston’s still a jackass

Analysis of Gaston: At this point, he is obviously the bad guy

Back in the castle, we have the famous song. At this point, I (briefly) stopped analyzing, because this scene is just too beautiful. I have always loved the ballroom scene, and “Beauty & The Beast” (especially when combined with those two dancing) will almost always bring me to tears.
Also, the not-Angela Lansbury version (that they sung at the Oscars and in the credits) is horrible, and you should have whoever thought that was a good idea executed. But I digress

Back to my analysis

Beast shows Belle the mirror, Belle sees her father dying, she wants to leave, so Beast lets her go.

This scene right here shows that Beast, after prolonged exposure to a woman with a VERY STRONG PERSONALITY, learned that he’s a jackass, and if he doesn’t change, nobody will like him. Beast certainly changed. Belle did too, but not in any significant way – she’s still a very strong character, and her core personality hasn’t changed. The only change she had been that she fell in love with him (but that wasn’t till the end bit – but I, again, digress)

Anyways, we have the (very amusing) angry mob/defend the castle scene. Beast, now depressed because Belle left, almost dies, until Belle rides in, renewing his resolve, and he defends himself, nearly killing Gaston, but in the end letting him go (which bit him in the end, silly Beast)

Gaston’s dead, Beast is dying, Belle admits her love, Beast transforms back into Nigel Thornbury The Prince Formerly Known as Beast.

Final Beast Analysis: A Changed man, no longer abusive, because he saw the error of his ways

And, as usual, I cried in the end when the course sang the reprise of “Beauty and The Beast”.

Not-Quite-So-Final Belle Analysis: Still a very strong female personality. Through her determination, she changed an abusive beast into a nice, loving prince. GOOD ROLE MODEL, not because she encourages girls (and guys) to remain in abusive relationships to change them, but because she encourages girls (and guys) to be strong people, and to stand up for themselves. The lesson one should take from Belle is that you should get out of dodge if you’re in a hopeless situation, but if you’re willing to yell back harder than he (or she) yells at you, and if you can yell back harder, than by all means, try to teach him (or her) to redeem themselves.

At least, that’s the lesson I took.

Now, one argument I heard was that Belle was still a bad role model because she gave up her dreams of adventure, and didn’t go out to find her ideal life. You kidding me? She married A PRINCE. They aren’t trapped in the (now dis-enchanted) castle – they can go out on adventures whenever they want. Maurice could invent things like Inflatable Boats and they can go white-water rafting. They can explore the vast lands of France. They live near a forest, if nothing else, they can host regular Calvinball tournaments.

More to it, did you not see that library. Those are books that HE collected. He’s obviously an avid reader – and as was made clear earlier – they enjoy each others company, and I’m sure he’d be willing to try out other ventures Belle holds interest in.

So, in the end, Belle is a good, but seriously misinterpreted role model, and a strong female character who worked to get what she wanted in the end.

So, I will continue to be offended whenever anybody insults the movie based on very flawed logic.

—–

…which is what my blog post would have read, but in the theatre there were a number of loudmouths (most of them kids, and I can forgive them) – including one woman who came in after it started, and started talking louder than the movie (the techies had to up the theatre’s volume) as she arranged her entourage. Meanwhile, all throughout the movie there were three people using their cellphones, and then, near the end, the woman from before starts over-talking again. I was already in a bad mood because of arguments about Disney in general, and the children in the theatre were suddenly extremely annoying.

And that’s why I killed ‘em Your Honour.

The Judge: “…well… I honestly have no idea what to make of your argument. All I got was an analysis of Beauty & The Beast, and a complaint about a relatively bad theatre experience, and I suddenly don’t care. I find you to have a solid alibi, and you in fact did not slaughter an entire movie theatre in front of several witnesses. This case is dismissed.”

—-

The lesson to be learned here is that there’s a reason they ask you to turn your phones off.

Also, Beauty & The Beast is a very good movie, and other than personal distaste for the genre, there’s no real reason to dislike or hate it.

 

Now Serving,
Aust Kyzor

Potato and Rutabaga Rosti

In between not ever updating my blog I have been experimenting with food. This should be expected, considering that is my chosen work field, but that doesn’t exactly give me an excuse to not update ever.

I haven’t even done that much cooking, to be honest, but I digress.

My last food lab before the final exam was called a “black box” project. If you’ve ever seen Iron Chef or Chopped, you’ll know what I mean. Basically, we were given a list of available ingredients, and from those ingredients we had to create a soup, a salad, and an entrée. Unlike Iron Chef or Chopped, we didn’t have to use EVERYTHING, and there was no theme, it was more that we had to create three decent sized things from a limited supply of ingredients.

My partner and I came up with an Apple, Potato, and Turnip (read: Rutabaga) salad, Potato and Leek soup with tarragon, and Potato and Turnip (read: Rutabaga) Rosti with Baked Eggs. The Rosti’s the interesting one, so I’ll go with talking about them.

The preparation itself is easy, just long.
Prep Time: 30 minutes to 1 hour
Cook time: 30 minutes to 35 Minutes
Makes: 12 to 16 rostis (6-8 servings)

-Finely Julienne about 120g of Rutabaga and 600g of potato (starchy is better than new)
-Combine melted butter and 10% Cream and mix those in with the rutabaga and potato – now is the best time to spice it (just salt and pepper is recommended)
-Loosely pack the potato and rutabaga in buttered muffin thingies (ramekins work too, but muffin thingies are better)
-Bake at 350 Fahrenheit for about 25-30 minutes – edges of vegetables should be just golden brown. Take pan(s) out of oven
-Crack an egg into each rosti, being careful not to break the yolk – if you don’t want to use that many eggs, you can leave them empty, or place a few slices of thinly sliced beef (when I tried that, I used a spare gourmet steak from my butcher, but any cut will do)
-Place back into the oven for about five minutes – just enough for the eggs/beef to cook properly

So far I’ve only made this twice, but it works well enough that I will continue to make it in the future. Both times I served it with salad (2nd time was a garden salad), and a spiced mayonnaise (I made it myself, but it’s not necessary to go to such lengths – you can whip mayonnaise with chili sauce or ground chipolata powder and horseradish)

This is what they look like on their own, without egg or beef – I found that the added protein improves the flavour quite a bit.

—–

In addition to rostis, I also tried my hand at making Pho Bo – a Vietnamese soup, various bread machine recipes (which I could probably adapt to oven-baked versions), and croissants (which were an abysmal failure, and proof that I’m not cut out for pastries)

So, expect updates about those things (except the croissants), as well as a few other things I have planned, including a few reviews.

Saving your place at the table,
Aust Kyzor

Oh look, I neglected the blog again!

Been busy. Leave me alone. Nutrition eats your soul as you study it.

Gave up on NaNoWriMo (not really a surprise there) – but I am damned and determined to actually finish the story. I WILL finish it, but it’ll take a long, LONG time.

Anyways – been busy. Got a tumblr account. Did a crapton of school work.

Also, I use this for food – so here’s a god damn meatball recipe:

GOD DAMN MEATBALLS AND SHIT! MANLY STYLE!

YOU NEED:
-GROUND BEEF!
-GROUND TURKEY!
-A BOX OF ROSEMARY TRISCUTS! GRIND THEM UP FIRST!
-AN EGG!

WHAT TO DO:
-MIX ALL OF THAT STUFF TOGETHER! WITH YOUR HANDS! LIKE A BOSS!
-ROLL THEM UP INTO BALLS ABOUT AN INCH IN DIAMETER!
-PAR BOIL THEM FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS! IF YOU WANT YOU CAN FREEZE THEM!
-BAKE THEM IN THE OVEN SET TO 350 DEGREES (THAT’S IN FAHRENHEIT!) FOR 10-20 MINUTES!
-MIX THEM WITH SOME KIND OF SAUCE AND SERVE THEM WITH SOME KIND OF STARCH!

Ideas include:

• Tomato sauce with pasta
• Macaroni and cheese
• Gravy potatoes

Also, I totally wrote all that with my finger on the shift key. CAPS LOCK IS FOR WIMPS!

Always a plate for you,
-Kyle

The Wanderers – NaNoWriMo Day 1

I was kinda rather really busy tonight, so, while I wanted to write 1667 words, I only wrote 450. Still, I managed to get a theme-setting quote from a character, establish the scene, and describe two of the characters. PROGRESS!

“In what many would say is the stuff out of a badly written Dungeons and Dragons campaign; four people met in a tavern…”

I’m going to have to up my daily quota to 2000 words for a few days to catch up. As long as I have 50000 by Nov 30, I succeed. Hell, as long as I have it written I succeed. I want to use this novel as the basis for short stories.

Not a very mighty pen,

Aust Kyzor

Teriyaki Duck

Over the week that just passed, we were assigned a project for our week off – we essentially had to create a meal, and there was a bunch of other paperwork and report stuff to do – but the most important part was the meal itself.

Around Thanksgiving (remember that in Canada it’s in October) I decided that I wanted to try making teriyaki, and also cooking with duck. The first attempt was so successful that I decided to do it again for the assignment.

The recipe itself is very straightforward too.

Braised Teriyaki Duck

Note: This is an adaptation of this recipe from Kham’s Blog. Partial credit goes to him.

Ingredients:

• Duck Breasts – 2
• Soy Sauce – 4 tbsp
• Type is at your discretion
• Sake (Rice Wine) – 4 tbsp
• Make absolutely certain that it is good quality
• Pineapple Juice – 2 tbsp
• Sugar – 1 tbsp, or to taste

It is entirely up to you as to whether or not you use pre-cut duck breasts, or if you buy whole ducks and cut them yourselves. It’s cheaper to buy them whole, but it is a LOT easier to buy them pre-cut. If you DO decide to buy them whole, you can also use the legs with the recipe, you just have to adjust the sauce ingredients accordingly. Leftover bones can be used for a stock.

Procedure:

1. Mix all ingredients (save for the duck) together very well
2. Marinate the duck in the sauce overnight
   

   Ducks in marinade

3. In a non-stick or cast iron pan, heat the duck breasts until the outside is cooked, and the skin is crispy
4. Place the duck breasts into an oven-safe dish or a brazier with the marinade
5. Place the brazier into the oven set for 350°F (177°C) and braise the ducks for 20-25 minutes, or when the internal temperature reaches 165°F (74°C)
6. Allow the ducks to rest briefly before service.

The side-dish options that go with this entree are quite vast, as long as you have something slightly acidic (like teriyaki sauce or orange sauce) to match the fatty flavour of duck. In this service I also served some simple mashed potatoes mixed with some leftover sauce that I had used to deglaze the frying pan. I also sliced a pineapple and fried it in part of that sauce as well.

Always remember to heat plates before serving a hot dish

 

In the end, my roommates loved it, and I was quite pleased with the end result.

I mean it about the side dishes, by the way, you can serve this with steamed broccoli, rice pilaf, potatoes O’Brien. You name it.

You should try it out yourself some day. Trust me, you will mostly likely enjoy it.
Waiting with your plate,

Aust Kyzor

I now have an initiative to use this thing again

Kay, I’m going to re-do fucking everything with this. Start all over again.

Normally when I start all over again, I go to a new blog host, but I’ve already done Xanga, LiveJournal, and Blogger – so after WordPress that leaves tumblr, and it won’t let me even sign up, because tumblr is a jerk.

ANYWAYS

I’ve been wanting to do NaNoWriMo for awhile, and now I actually REMEMBERED it before November started, so I’m going to actually do it this year. I’ve decided to post each day’s progress here – 50 000 words should be about 1667 words a day. I signed up at the website too

In addition, I want to talk about my progress in my foods program, and other food-related things I’ve been doing.

So, I’m re-organizing the categories, and probably going to re-do the theme at some point, but for now – Aust is back, and he’s actually got things to talk about.

The update makes WordPress look stupid on my netbook

I’ve decided that I should just try to blog as often as possible, even if I don’t have anything to blog about – It’s almost October, so maybe what I’ll try to do is Blog every day in October, sorta like VEDA but with a blog, and in October.

Anyways, things about today… well – I appear to be dying of some lung-based not-able-to-breathe-well disease – while in a food safety course. If there’s irony here, it’s not lost on me.

This class is actually really boring – and incredibly easy – I am, honestly, not sure how people can fail this class. Probably overconfidence.

Chef Pseudonym tries to make it more interesting by being sarcastic and biting – I like him – it’s as if he’s me from the future, come back in time to teach me, so let’s call him Chef FutureKyle

He doesn’t like buffets – I don’t really blame him – when you think about it, buffets are disgusting… AWW! He’s dissing the Mandarin! MEAN!

He also doesn’t like cats – so maybe not Chef FutureKyle – but I’ll call him that anyways.

Some other point I’ll talk about Chef OldGuy, Chef Computer, Chef NeverInHisDamnOffice, and Chef SecretlyMyFirstYearChemProfessor

So, today was strange

You know, sometimes work can get to you. Postal workers get tired of the complaints, and they open fire on the queue. Truckers get pissed off with schedules, so they abandon the trucks on the freeway, teachers feel like they don’t have enough power, so they run for MP (for some reason).

Today, the lockmaster got REALLY pissed off at a few boaters. Now, normally the response to that is to be really rough when putting them through – but not this time, no, this time he went to where the boats were moored… with an axe.

No, no – not for the boats, for the ropes holding them to the wall – he was going to let them drift into the rocks.

Moral of this story is DON’T PISS OFF THE CANAL WORKERS.

PSA for the world

Attention people trying to sound bad-ass when challenging somebody to a duel or other variety of battle:

Mano a mano means HAND IN HAND

If you’re looking for “Man to Man” you want “Hombre a Hombre” and if you want “Man on Man” it’s “Hombre sobre el Hombre” – “Man versus Man” is “el Hombre contra el Hombre”

POINT IS – Mano = Hand, and Man = Hombre

GET IT RIGHT, because otherwise you’re unintentionally sounding either homoerotic or like an episode of My Little Pony – which is fine if intentional – but otherwise silly and a smear on all that is either homoerotic or My Little Pony.

Thank you,
Alguien que Entiende Español